Nations Bleed Contempt, Call for Justice
In a remarkable show of diplomatic force, nations from around the world will merge tomorrow to negotiate the terms of peace, or so they say. The Great War of 1914-1918, which began with the assassination of Archduke Ferdinand has now culminated in the humiliation of Germany. "We were wrong to start the war", delegate from Germany stated in an interview this afternoon. "I'm worried that negotiations will not bring about peace but focus only on blame." The Italian delegation seemed equally worried saying, "We have a strategic role in this conversation. We have been lied to and forced into an economic recession. We were neutral during the whole affair and promised land after we signed the Treaty of London, but we have still not been given the land we were promised." The sense in which the Italian delegation spoke seemed to stress the fear that the negotiations were not going to go very well. The Russian delegation as well seemed very unsure about the negotiations. They were completely unwilling to make comment, and they refused to answer any questions, instead scowling out reporters as they passed by.
In much bolder tones, Great Britain condemned Germany saying, "Germany should pay for the devastation they caused. We do not seek revenge, however. We seek justice." Whether or not "justice" and "revenge", however, can be distinguished is still yet to be seen. The US as well spoke boldly saying, "We present the 14 points for discussion, and we anticipate that countries will agree to them." When asked why the 14 points would be so popular at the conference, the US delegation argued, "The group will agree that a strong US is better for the world. It will secure international peace." When asked whether the 14 points favored US national interests, the US delegates were quick to agree, but reassured us that it was for the benefit of the rest of the world. France agreed saying, "The US wants to help. They are a powerful ally of the world."
Austria-Hungry (A-H) made no comment about the negotiations, but did say that Germany and A-H had split for diplomatic reasons. We anticipate that, while both countries will be under intense political fire tomorrow, they have something up their sleeve.
Unfortunately, the Balkan states were not available for comment. It was expressed, however, that they were about to experience life very similar to "the Christmas ham", meaning that they were about to be carved up and consumed.
In related news, both Japan and China will be present during the conference fighting over a land dispute. Both delegations seemed equally blameworthy of the other. Both argued against strengthening the other, and both felt very strongly that the conference should address their claims.
We all eagerly await the beginning of the conference. Let's see how negotiations go.
On to a better tomorrow,
The Daily Blogger
2 comments:
On behalf of the United States of America, we would like to add a comment regarding the quote from the Daily Blogger reporter, Jason Nicholson. His so called quote stating that the U.S. said, “A strong U.S. is better for the world, it will secure international peace” is a manipulation of our words. As answered today in an interview, the United States believes that the fourteen points does slightly benefit us over several other countries. But with that said, these points can be judged as a closure to the major problem the world as a whole is facing. It is not about getting the most out of it but simply finding a conclusion to the war and bringing world peace to all.
President of the United States of America: Nathan Ralls Feldman
Secretary of International Affairs: Dean Ferris
The Daily Blogger apologizes for any ambiguity in quoting the distinguished delegate from the Unites States, and we stand by our commitment to accurate reporting. We believe that we have reported accurately, and the delegate Ralls' explanation of his own quote is consistent with what was reported.
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